No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
this will be a night to untag.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
