I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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