you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Semen is not good for contacts.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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