five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Is it penis luge time yet?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize