I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
