i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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