And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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