Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
