new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
