I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
