This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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