What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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