I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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