On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
