I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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