As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Randomize
