I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
