i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize