Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
