I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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