Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
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