i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
