I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
How does one acquire holy water?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
