I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
