I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
