wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
