i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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