Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
