Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
