Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
