if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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