Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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