I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
May the power of my ass compel you!!
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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