i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
