just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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