does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
