I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
