Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
