I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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