Whats the glycemic index on semen?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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