You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
