it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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