More tranny stories later!
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
