I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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