I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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