Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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