Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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