Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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