mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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