So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I wish you could order shots online.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
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