There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize