Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
