So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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