I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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