we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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