You work out of a Hotel?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
