I wannas sexs uuuuu
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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