That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
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