i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
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