its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
