I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
