i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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